No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
