i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
