Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
