ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
