Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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