he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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