When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
