I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
