I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
