So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
