Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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