Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
