Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
