If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
