She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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