He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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