Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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