College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
