And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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