you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think I just sharted jello shots
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
