smell my finger.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
