I hate your face
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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