Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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