He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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