You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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