Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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