Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think I sprained my soul last night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
