I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
