That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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