I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
