He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
