I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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