I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
