the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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