38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
