I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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