My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
last night I used snow as a chaser
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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