My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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