I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
