i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
