I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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