she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
