do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize