I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
