I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
