He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
