Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
