Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
