i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
