remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
