Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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