Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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