I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
