At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think i have two assholes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
